Je n'ai pas encore parlé de toi dans ce blog. Mais je vais me répéter... je veux plus vivre ma vie au présent que de la vivre par écrit sur ce blog. Maintenant si j'y écris c'est que j'ai besoin de me défouler.
Mais là j'y écris pour plusieurs raisons. Déjà parce que je sais que tu connais maintenant l'existence de ce lieu, ensuite parce que j'ai envie d'écrire tout ce que je peux ressentir depuis que je dis nous, ensuite... parce que j'ai envie de te faire passer un message.
En deux mois et demi que nous sommes ensemble tu es devenue l'une des personnes les plus importantes de ma vie, tu as pris une place considérable dans cet espace de mon coeur si chamboulée et petit à petit tu le guéris. A chaque étape, chaque attention, chaque difficulté qu'on traverse... tu le guéris.
Je n'ai plus peur de dire je t'aime, je n'ai plus peur de trahison ou de mensonge, je n'ai plus peur d'agir comme je l'entends.
Je n'ai plus peur d'être présente pour l'être aimé. Bien sûr il nous reste beaucoup de chose à faire, à construire, mais je suis persuadée qu'on y arrivera.
Tu sais cette deuxième part de toi... je n'ai pas non plus peur de la connaître. Je dirais même que j'ai hâte, d'apprendre qui tu es en entier. On a tous une part de nous-même que l'on n'accepte à moitié, et ça rend les choses encore plus difficile, surtout quand on veut se décider à franchir le pas de la confier à l'autre. Je sais à quel point ça peut être dur... On a nos jardins secrets, nos parts sombres qu'on a peur de dévoiler, où qu'on ne veut tout simplement pas dévoiler. Mais toi tu as fais un premier pas, tu m'as donné les cartes en main. Alors oui je dois attendre ton accord remplir des conditions, mais c'est toi qui a fait le plus dur. Déjà en me faisant confiance, tu sais que je n'ouvrirais jamais ce 7ème cadeau sans ton accord et tu dois savoir que quand je l'ouvrirais... je ne jugerais pas, je ne prendrais pas peur. Parce que j'ai décidé de rester à tes côtés quoi qu'il arrive. Tu l'as bien fait pour moi et je t'aime. Pour moi c'est tout ce qui compte à mes yeux et mine de rien je suis plus forte qu'il n'y paraît.
Et comme j'ai mis deux jours à écrire cet article, il se trouve que j'ai ton accord. Ce soir donc... je vais... entrer en toi et essayer de te comprendre au maximum.
Pour Nounours, de ta Crapule.
Angel-White
Juste un sourire ... :)
Mercredi 29 juin 2011 à 9:34
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